I visited you the night before you died. I knew you were close to the end. I sat on the side of your bed and held your hand. You were wearing the possum fur and merino fingerless mittens I'd lent you because your hands were so cold.

I asked you if you got bored, lying in bed all day. You said something I didn't understand, and I said, 'you know, your mind is a magic carpet. You can travel anywhere you like on it, to Japan, to places you've visited...' You smiled. We sat for a while longer, I asked if you were tired, and you nodded. I kissed you and left the room.

Next day I came over after you'd passed. Filippa and I went in and you were lying on the bedcovers, dressed, looking handsome, your hair and beard combed. Your face still, your jaw, cheekbones, nose and eyebrows sharply etched. Filippa sat on the end of the bed and I sat in the chair beside you and held your hand. It was cold this time, still soft. We talked about your passing.

Mystic traveller, you can truly travel now wherever you wish. You visited me in a dream two mornings ago. You kissed me lightly on the mouth, and said there wouldn't be a ball that night. I was surprised, as I didn't know there was going to be. There were lots of people there, including members of the family. You were thin and tired, your hair long, your clothes a little dusty, your eyelids heavy with tiredness. You'd travelled a long way and been away a long time.

Your birthday is on the 5th of this month. I hope you are enjoying your travels in mystic lands, and I'm glad you can visit from time to time. You are very much missed by your Filippa, Taiji and Kayo, and I know they feel very blessed to have had you as husband and father. The rest of us miss you too. Blessings and much love, Christina