We met on Wednesday 4th March 1992, just two days after I arrived in Japan. I rang and had a chat with you and you offered to take me and Izumi (who I was staying with) out for the evening.

We met in Kichijoji on a corner in front of a cafe. You were wearing a black skivvy and a leather jacket. You had a serious look on your face that I now know to be shy. I was wearing a short black linen skirt and my purple silk balero jacket with my stained glass dragonfly brooch and an asymetrical haircut. Later you told me that you were intrigued - I had no idea. 

We walked to a nearby bar - an underground bar & restaurant called "Old Crow". It was medieval style with long wooden tables and rough, beige-coloured walls. There were lots of young men behind the central bar intensely focused on hand-carving huge round balls of ice that just fit inside the whiskey glasses. Izumi had whiskey, you had ginger ale and I don't remember what I had. How typical of you to take us to such an interesting place - you loved finding amazing and creative places wherever we were in the world - this was part of the adventure with you. 

We talked about religion and you told me about the 4 years you lived in Cairo. I thought you were quite spiritual and unusual. I wrote in my diary that you seemed to have many layers. I remember I had strong opinions about how muslim women are treated - typical western prejudices that you slowly educated me out of over the years. 

You then drove us to Shinjuku to the Red Light district which I thought was pretty tame. We went to a ramen shop. Then we walked around the red light district  - me in the middle with my arms linked into yours and Izumi's arms. I felt comfortable with you from Day 1.

Later I found I had lost my dragonfly brooch. You looked in your company car for it, but it was not to be found. Next time I went back to Australia, I had another one made by my stained glass artist friend. Eventually my dragonfly lost its tail and ended up in a container of old forgotten jewelry. I found it after you died. It became one of my show and tell pieces at your memorial.

Dragonflies have been a theme of my strange journey through life. One day, a few years ago, before a tea ceremony on the Gold Coast, we went for a walk through the Japanese garden. I was deep into meditating around that time and that morning had asked for a sign. As we walked along the bamboo lined path, we were suddenly surrounded by dragonflies. It was the first of many strange signs that I now associate with the unfolding journey that led to your passing and leaving me in the physical form. 

I cremated you in that black skivvy. Mysterious, unreachable you. The mystic, who kept me fascinated for 27 years, who never fully let me know you, who surrendered so fully to my care with trust and vulnerability when you were sick and dying and wouldn't let anyone near you except me.

if only I could turn back time and enjoy it all again and focus more on all the wonderful bits and the magical bits. If only....